Behind Closed Doors We Loved

Chapter 1

Alden Rivers was a quintessential gay man: successful, handsome, and living the high life, complete with a luxurious car and a stunning apartment. While he loved his carefree lifestyle, he had never come out to his family. Lord and Lady Rivers had their suspicions about Alden’s romantic preferences, chalking it up to youthful experimentation. They remained convinced that he would settle down and marry when the time was right.
However, their impatience grew, and they started urging Alden to get serious about finding a partner and building a family. After hearing their concerns a few too many times, Alden grew tired of the pressure. On a whim, he decided to seek out a marriage of convenience. This way, his parents would stop nagging him without him having to change his lifestyle.
He registered on a website dedicated to formal marriages, creating a profile and posting an ad in hopes of finding someone suitable. Alden didn’t have high hopes and didn’t check back on the site frequently, until one day, he received an email from someone interested in the arrangement.
Curious, Alden learned a bit about this person’s basic details: height, weight, age, profession, and after seeing a few selfies, he thought they looked decent enough for his parents to accept. He quickly set up a meeting.
This potential partner turned out to be Clara Wood, the story's main character.
Clara was a crossdresser who always donned women’s clothing while out in public. His backstory had a fair share of drama: he was a victim of abandonment. Clara was left at the Saint Joseph's Orphanage not at birth, but after his parents discovered that he was mute—an inability to speak that emerged when he was about two years old.
Despite his challenges, Clara had a normal hearing ability, allowing him to grow up and thrive at the orphanage, though he remained silent. His quiet demeanor came from years of being somewhat outcast, and once he left the orphanage, he began embracing his identity, including a preference for male partners and dressing in women’s attire.
With newfound freedom, Clara began shopping for dresses and soon learned to navigate the world in feminine clothing. Initially, he felt awkward in his outfits, but he quickly grew into a stunning, elegant appearance, accentuated by his long hair. Walking down the street, he became the kind of pretty girl that would turn heads—especially appealing to older generation folks.
Clara had one unique passion: playing the bass guitar. His job was with a local band called The Jolly Troubadours, where he played his beloved instrument. The one he had feelings for was the band’s lead singer—The Bard. It was this singer who helped Clara realize he was attracted to men.
Yet, Clara's feelings for The Bard remained unrequited, compounded by the fact that The Bard was straight.
Finn Parker, the band’s guitarist, was the only one who knew about Clara’s crush. Finn was also gay, so he recognized the longing in Clara’s gaze directed towards The Bard very well. Since the revelation of that shared secret, Clara and Finn had formed a bond akin to best friends, though they would never openly use that term—steadfastly referring to each other as “bros.”
Although everyone in the band knew Clara was assigned male at birth, they respected his identity and never spoke of it outside of their circle.
As the day of Alden and Clara's meeting approached, an air of anticipation surrounded their connection.

Chapter 2

Clara Wood thought of her passion for music as a private hobby, but in a predominantly male band, having a female bassist was a refreshing change. She had built up a decent following at The Drunken Griffin, where many found her endearing—a petite girl who transformed into a confident bassist when she played, a classic case of charm and unexpected skill.
Clara's decision to reach out to Alden Rivers was sparked by an emotional upheaval—The Bard, the lead singer of her band, was getting married, leaving her heartbroken. Deep down, Clara sensed that The Bard was aware of her feelings for him. He would sometimes joke about it, but most of the time, he maintained his distance. Each time he came a little closer, Clara's heart raced, though she did her best to hide her excitement.
It was entirely by chance that Alden's name came to Clara. She stumbled upon a website, clicked on his profile, and suddenly remembered seeing him at The Drunken Griffin a few times. Impulsively, she sent him an email, and just as impulsively, she agreed to meet.
Since Alden was looking for a marriage of convenience, Clara figured that as long as she looked the part of a woman, everything would be fine. This might have been Clara’s way of escaping her world centered around The Bard, a way to distract herself and, ideally, forget him. However, her approach felt a bit dramatic, and her journey into deception began here.
The first time Alden met Clara, he was struck by the typical first impression most people had of her: quiet and pretty. He even thought she was the kind of girl you could bring home to meet your parents.
Alden was aware that Clara had vocal cord issues, which prevented her from speaking. But since he wasn't really looking for a traditional spouse, it didn’t matter much to him.
“So why the marriage of convenience?” Alden asked Clara, genuinely curious. Without thinking, she cooked up a story about the head of Saint Joseph's Orphanage—a man who supposedly worried she might not find a partner.
To her relief, Alden didn’t pry any further.
As they spent more time together, both opened up a bit. Alden found Clara refreshing, and they eventually signed a contract, acquired a faux marriage certificate, and informed his parents, Lord and Lady Rivers, about a simple wedding ceremony. Not wanting the hassle of anything fancy, they opted for a low-key affair where they exchanged vows in front of a priest, followed by a casual buffet with friends and family. Alden’s parents expressed some unease at the fast pace of their union, especially since Clara was mute, but they accepted her as a nice girl their son had chosen.
To appease Alden's parents, Clara moved into Rivers Manor post-wedding. She brought little luggage, and Alden had set up a guest room that was more than adequate.
According to their agreement, they lived together as if they were roommates—living under the same roof while respecting each other’s privacy.
For over a year, this arrangement worked just fine. Alden continued his indulgent lifestyle, frequenting bars and engaging in casual flings. At one point, he dated a younger boy, but that fizzled out after just a couple of months. In short, he led a hedonistic life.
Meanwhile, Clara kept playing the bass guitar for her band, The Jolly Troubadours.
The only person who knew about her "marriage" was Finn Parker, and he only found out after the fact. When Clara revealed her situation, Finn was furious. He grabbed her by the collar, ready to confront her, but anger turned into resignation as he slowly came to understand her reasons—if he could even find one.
What was done was done, and there was no point in dwelling on it.
After doing some digging into Alden's background, Finn couldn't help but warn Clara. "Just don't get attached to him, okay?"
Clara laughed it off, assuring him that there was nothing to worry about.

Chapter 3

Clara Wood spent most of her time at Wood Cottage, aside from working at The Drunken Griffin and practicing with The Jolly Troubadours.
Having started her independent life early on, household chores were no challenge for Clara. Initially, Alden Rivers would hire a cleaning service each week, but Clara insisted that since Alden was providing her with a place to stay, she would handle the housework. Alden didn’t object; in fact, once he saw Clara diligently cleaning the house, he stopped calling the cleaning service altogether.
Soon, Alden got used to waking up on the weekends to the sound of the vacuum cleaner. It wasn’t so bad, he thought. If he were a regular guy, maybe this would be the kind of life he’d have. Of course, he chuckled to himself, he might also be out having a wild time.
What surprised Alden, yet felt entirely predictable, was that Clara was a fantastic cook. It wasn’t that she wielded gourmet skills to win over his stomach—she stuck to simple, home-cooked meals. Those ordinary dishes ended up tasting surprisingly good. It made sense, really; if she was capable of managing the household, cooking wasn’t something to be embarrassed about.
Clara had a decent knack for learning, and sometimes she would look up recipes to try. After a few attempts, her skills were impressive enough to reach a respectable standard.
Alden had initially made a habit of eating out before returning home, but after a few meals prepared by Clara, he found himself gravitating home more often than not.
There were times when Clara had to leave dinner ready for him, only for him to heat it up in the microwave later.
With their dining habits in sync, the days passed, and their relationship started to feel like that of an old married couple—growing accustomed to each other’s presence and routines. They learned each other’s schedules, left food for one another, and even learned bits of sign language. This way, Clara didn’t always have to text Alden to communicate during casual conversations.
As time went by, Alden found himself going out less frequently. Sometimes, he wondered if he was being “domesticated” and living the easy life he might have once wanted. Surprisingly, he didn’t mind it at all.
One evening, while enjoying a meal together, Alden jokingly said that if neither of them found a partner in the future, they could just live like this forever.
Clara laughed softly but offered no response.
Alden didn’t think much of it; it was just a light-hearted comment.
He didn’t believe his strictly gay “condition” could suddenly change, making him attracted to women, nor did he think he could fall for Clara just because she was accommodating and made him comfortable—thinking about it made him chuckle; it sounded like something out of a romance novel. Nonetheless, he genuinely enjoyed their life together.
Alden viewed Clara as a friend, and gradually, they became really good friends. But still, they remained only good friends.
He liked Clara, and she cared for him too, but only in a platonic way.
Their mutual friend, Finn Parker, once jokingly asked, “Are you guys sure this isn’t going to complicate things? You know, like… becoming a couple?”
Clara shook her head with a smile, affirming she only enjoyed Alden's friendship.
Deep down, though, Clara hadn’t let go of The Bard, even after he had been married for over a year, just as she herself had been “married” for a year.
Even if she did manage to move on from The Bard, Clara couldn’t imagine developing any romantic feelings for Alden. After all, she hadn’t had any such feelings for Finn all these years.
Finn playfully punched Clara’s shoulder and said, “Well, that’s because we’re both total bottoms!” Then he turned serious, “But what if you actually did like him?”
If she were to genuinely like him...
Clara thought that would mean she would have to leave, because everything that had begun was a mistake; it was all built on a deception… she had no right to develop feelings.
Sometimes she wondered how she had been so easily led into such a—life-altering situation.
And now, she felt resigned to always play the role of the woman.
Clara clung to the hope that since she hadn’t deceived anyone emotionally or financially, it should… be okay.
Finn snorted, “ deception often starts with the side who thinks there’s nothing wrong.”
Clara: …
Finn added, “At this point, just pray you’re never found out.”

Chapter 4

It turned out that Finn Parker had a real knack for jinxing things.
The truth about Clara Wood being a man was discovered by Alden Rivers just shy of their second wedding anniversary.
Clara was changing in their room when Alden, not bothering to knock, barged in, and then…
There was the flat chest.
In that moment, Alden didn’t know what possessed him, but he impulsively approached and pushed Clara onto the bed, reaching down to check.
Just a bit.
“So you’re really a guy, huh?” Alden asked, processing the shocking revelation.
Clara, caught completely off guard when Alden walked into the room, stood frozen, unsure of how to react. When Alden posed his question, Clara finally began to collect himself, though his heart raced, making it difficult to focus.
So, he had been found out.
Clara nodded slowly.
Alden stood up abruptly, left the room, and slammed the door behind him.
Days passed without him returning home.
Clara went about his life, working when he had to and doing chores at home, as if Alden had just stepped out for a while or had gone on a business trip.
But how could he possibly act like nothing had changed, Clara thought?
Distracted, Clara struggled to concentrate on work. Finn noticed something was off and asked what was wrong. Clara just shook his head and managed a weak smile, signing with his hands: He knows.
“And then he hit you or yelled at you?” Finn questioned.
Clara shook his head again and told Finn that Alden had left.
Finn didn’t quite grasp what “left” meant — was it temporary, a moment for solitude, or was he truly angry enough to walk away for good? Would Alden be back, and if so, when?
Clara didn’t say. He had no idea.
Clara figured it was best to pack his things and find a way to apologize later—Alden wouldn’t want to see him when he came back.
After thinking it over, Clara decided to go stay with Finn until he found a new place.
Finn, being a good friend, said, “Of course, no problem at all.”
Clara mouthed a silent thank you.
That night, he resolved to pack his belongings.
Like when he first moved in, Clara had very few possessions, so packing didn’t take long at all.
As for the more trivial items, Alden could throw them away if he liked.
Clara was just about to drag the first bag of belongings out of the room when the front door clicked open—Alden had returned.
Alden looked worse for wear, his hair tousled and stubble darkening his jawline, giving him a weary appearance.
Seeing him sent Clara's heart racing. But since they had run into each other, he figured he might as well lay everything out on the table.
Clara pulled out his phone to text an explanation, but Alden caught his wrist.
Alden reeked of alcohol, his expression tense as he glanced down at the bag by Clara’s feet. “You’re leaving.”
Clara hesitated, meeting Alden's gaze and nodding slowly.
He tried to pull away to text Alden an explanation, but Alden didn’t seem interested in any explanation.
He forcefully pressed Clara against the door of their bedroom, locking his eyes on Clara’s. “You lied to me, and now you want to walk away.”
Clara froze in place, shaking his head vigorously. He wanted to explain and apologize, but Alden’s hold only tightened as he struggled.
Suddenly, Alden laughed, recalling a time at The Drunken Griffin, where he’d spun the tale as if it had happened to someone else just for the amusement of his friends. They’d joked about how great that would be, turning it into some kind of joke about compensation. The memory faded fast as more laughter erupted in his mind.
“Now, how do you intend to make this up to me?” Alden said, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Clara continued to fight against the grip.
Then, without warning, Alden swept Clara off the ground and tossed him onto the bed, pinning him down.

Chapter 5

He ripped off Clara Wood's clothes, tearing away the bra that had deceived him for nearly two years, revealing an expanse of skin that felt painfully vulnerable.
In that moment, Clara remained frozen, not knowing what Alden Rivers intended. Perhaps somewhere deep down, he did understand what was coming, but the thought was too frightening to entertain.
Alden Rivers smirked. "Honestly, this is much more appealing. Better than most of the guys at The Drunken Griffin, and at least you're clean."
With that, he lunged forward and bit down hard on Clara's neck.
It was as if the frustration of being tricked boiled over into a violent instinct. The bite was unforgiving, breaking the skin and drawing blood.
Once satisfied with his bite, Alden wasted no time indulging himself further.
Clara fought at first, instinctively resisting, until Alden said, “After all the lies, you don’t think I deserve a little something for my emotional loss, do you?”
With that comment, Clara surrendered, becoming passive while Alden took his fill, the night stretching on as he used him over and over. By morning, Clara wasn’t even sure how he had fallen asleep—likely from sheer exhaustion.
It was Clara's first time. Typically, such experiences are uncomfortable, and with Alden’s lack of gentleness combined with the relentless repetition, it was a miracle he had come away without serious injury. Nonetheless, the pain lingered, though there was no bleeding—just a sense of rawness.
When Clara awoke, Alden was already gone.
He gritted his teeth against the throbbing pain and made his way to the bathroom, needing to wash away the remnants of the night—Alden hadn't bothered with protection nor had he cleaned up afterward.
It was humiliating and uncomfortable, but no matter how hard it was, he had to scrub everything off.
Clara tried not to dwell on the events of the previous night, but the more he pushed those thoughts away, the more they invaded his mind.
“…Let’s just say it’s emotional compensation,” he reasoned, attempting to find some solace in the whole ordeal—it was after all, his own doing.
With that, Clara resolved himself as he returned to Rivers Manor. He contemplated leaving but was struck by an overwhelming fatigue, his body feeling like it was carrying a heavy fever.
At the door, he spotted his phone, discarded from the previous night, and texted Finn Parker, asking for help and for some fever medicine.
The thought of mentioning the salve for his soreness crossed his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Let him come first, then he would explain.
After sending the message, Clara collapsed onto the bed, surrounded by the scents of last night. He clenched his jaw, letting out a soft sigh.
Finn arrived quickly.
Clara moved to answer the door only to stumble upon an unexpected and dramatic scene—Alden had returned from wherever he’d been.
The atmosphere was tense and awkward, as if they had been caught in some scandalous moment, despite the three of them having no romantic entanglement at that time. Alden’s face was dark with anger, and Finn looked equally grim, while Clara was washed out and pale from the preceding events.
Finn observed Clara's casual appearance—especially the absence of a bra—and the immediate concern for Clara’s request for medicine alongside Clara's pallor sparked an alarming realization in his mind.
His face darkened as he processed everything.
In a burst of rage, Finn grasped Alden by the collar, slamming him against the wall, accusing him, “You—you assaulted him.”
Alden paused a moment before shoving Finn off. “And? He owes me.”
With that, Alden strode into the house.
Finn’s fists clenched in fury, ready to charge after him, but Clara pulled him back. He snatched the medicine from Finn's hands, signaling him to leave for now, then closed the door on him.
In a fury, Finn pounded his fist against the door and cursed loudly.
Clara walked back into the living room, the medicine still in hand, to find Alden sprawled on the couch, lost in thought.
Taking a deep breath, Clara approached cautiously, giving Alden a tentative shoulder pat. When Alden's attention shifted to him, Clara used sign language to ask, "Are you hungry? Let me make you breakfast."

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