Loterijní lístek

Chapter One

As night fell, the cold moon hung high in the sky. The bright moonlight fell on the ancient castle on the edge of the city, casting a mysterious silver veil around it. Emily stood on the balcony, looking at the forest in the distance, and felt a chill rising from the bottom of her heart. Since moving to this castle, her life has become bizarre and mysterious.
The cold wind in October swept across her bare shoulders, bringing a shudder. Emily subconsciously wrapped her woolen shawl tightly around her, but she couldn't feel any warmth. This castle seems to be always cold, just like its mysterious owner Lucas Black, exuding an inaccessible atmosphere.
"Miss Emily," suddenly, a low voice sounded behind her, "You'll catch a cold if you're still outside so late."
She turned around and saw Lucas standing at the balcony door. The moonlight outlined his tall figure. He was wearing a dark silk shirt, and the collar vaguely revealed his strong chest. The amber eyes flickered strangely in the darkness, as if they could see through her soul.
"Mr. Black," Emily whispered, trying to hide the trembling in her voice, "I'm just admiring the moonlight."
Lucas took a step forward, but suddenly stopped. Emily noticed that his body stiffened instantly, and his nostrils fluttered slightly, as if he was sniffing something. His expression became solemn, and a glimmer of wildness flashed in his eyes, but was quickly suppressed.
"Please go in," his voice was hoarser than usual, "It's not safe here."
Just then, a cold night breeze swept across the balcony, bringing a faint smell of rust. Emily saw that Lucas's fingers were almost pinched into the stone railing, and his knuckles were white. She couldn't help but take a step back, her heartbeat accelerated.
"I thought this castle was the safest place," she whispered, "after all, you are here."
Lucas let out an almost inaudible growl, "Some danger, Miss Emily, is much closer than you think." His eyes looked unusually sharp in the moonlight, "especially on a full moon night."
Suddenly, a wolf howl came from the distant forest, shrill and long. Emily was surprised to find that Lucas' pupils shrank in an instant and turned into vertical pupils like a beast, but the fleeting change made her wonder if it was just an illusion caused by the moonlight.
Just then, a cold breath passed by her from behind, accompanied by a chuckle. Emily turned around and saw only a dark shadow flashing in the corner of the balcony. When she looked back again, Lucas had come to her side, with a hand gently on her shoulder.
"I'll take you back to your room," he said, with an unquestionable commanding tone in his voice. Emily noticed that his palms were surprisingly hot, in sharp contrast to the chill of the castle.
Walking in the dark corridor of the castle, Emily could feel Lucas' presence, he walked behind her like a silent guardian. Moonlight poured in through the Gothic stained glass windows, casting mottled shadows on the floor.
"Good night, Miss Emily," Lucas whispered in front of her door, "Remember, no matter what sound you hear, don't leave the room tonight."
"Why?" Emily asked subconsciously.
Lucas was silent for a moment, his eyes looked deep and dangerous in the moonlight, "Because the moonlight tonight is too beautiful, it will always wake up something that shouldn't wake up."
When the door closed behind her, Emily leaned against the door, her heartbeat still alarmingly fast. She could hear Lucas's footsteps gradually fading away, but she seemed to hear the sound of wings flapping outside the window. She walked to the window and looked out through the glass.
In the moonlit courtyard, she saw a figure standing by the fountain. The man looked up at her window, and the moonlight illuminated his pale marble face - it was Draco, with a mysterious smile on his lips and a dangerous light in his eyes. When Emily blinked, his figure had disappeared, as if he had never appeared. Emily lay trembling on the bed, listening to the wolf howling outside the window. She knew that she had fallen into a world full of dangers, and this was just the beginning. On this moonlit night, her fate was closely linked to two mysterious and dangerous beings, and there was no turning back.

Chapter Two

In the dead of night, Emily lay in bed, the faces of Lucas and Draco appeared in her mind. She could not resist the deep attraction, but she also knew that she was caught in a dangerous vortex. She knew that the confrontation between the two men was a life-and-death hostility, and she was just a pawn in their war. A corner of her heart reminded her to escape, but the deeper desire pulled her to stay in this mysterious castle, looking forward to the unknown encounter.

        Just as she was about to fall asleep, a slight knock on the window interrupted the silence. Emily opened her eyes, and the moonlight poured into the room through the curtains, making the corners of the room particularly dark. She sat up subconsciously, trembling slightly and walked to the window. When she opened the curtains, a figure was standing in front of her, cold and elegant.

        It was Draco.

        "Sorry, I scared you, Emily." His low voice was frivolous and indifferent, as if every word revealed his unfathomable darkness. His eyes were like two flames in the abyss, locking onto her with an irresistible force.

        "How... are you here?" Emily's heartbeat quickened, and her hands unconsciously clenched a corner of the curtain. She knew she should be scared at this moment, but Draco's unique charm made it hard for her to resist.

        Draco did not answer her question, but slowly approached, lowered his head and whispered in her ear: "You know why I'm here, Emily. You've never really been afraid of me, right?"

        The moment he approached, she smelled the cold breath on him, as if it came from the night a thousand years ago. Her breathing gradually became rapid, but she did not retreat, but was locked by his eyes, as if her soul was also attracted to him.

        "Draco... we can't do this." Her voice was weak, but she did not retreat at all, as if even she herself was struggling with contradictions.

        "You don't belong here at all, Emily. Staying here will only put you in deeper danger." Draco gently lifted her chin, with a smile on the corner of his cold mouth, that smile was both gentle and dangerous, "But if you want to know the real darkness, then come. I will take you to see everything."

        At this moment, the door was pushed open, and Lucas' figure appeared at the door like a shadow. His face was gloomy, and his eyes were burning with anger. It was his possessiveness and anger that he could not hide. He walked towards Draco step by step, his hands clenched, his muscles tensed, as if he was going to pounce on and tear the enemy in front of him in the next second.

        "Draco, let her go." Lucas' voice was low and threatening, like an enraged beast. It was the first time Emily saw him so out of control, his eyes were like a ball of unextinguishable fire, revealing uncontrollable anger and possessiveness.

        Draco smiled slightly, released Emily's chin, and looked at Lucas provocatively. "Don't you understand yet? She doesn't belong to you. The savagery of the wolf tribe is nothing but a bondage to her, and I can give her true freedom."

        "The 'freedom' you mentioned will only make her fall into darkness. You don't understand what true protection is." Lucas sneered, his eyes as sharp as an eagle. He slowly stepped forward, blocked Emily, and protected her behind him. That was his attitude as the wolf king, firm and unshakable.

        Emily was sandwiched between the two, feeling her heartbeat speed up, as if breathing became difficult. These two completely different forces intertwined and collided in front of her, making it impossible for her to decide which side to choose.

        Draco raised the corners of his mouth and slowly took a step back, his eyes still on Emily. "Emily, one day you will find that he can't satisfy the desire in your heart. And I am your true home."

        As soon as the voice fell, Draco's figure disappeared into the night, as if he had never appeared.

        Lucas looked at the empty room, his fists gradually loosened, but the anger and worry in his eyes remained. He turned around and looked at Emily softly, but his eyes still flashed with contradictions and forbearance.

        "Are you okay?" He asked in a low voice, with a trace of undisguised concern in his voice.

        Emily nodded, but her heart was in turmoil and it was difficult to calm down. She knew that she had fallen too deep. She could not let go of these two men easily, nor could she easily resist them. A complex emotion surged in her heart, which was a dangerous and fatal attraction.

        "Lucas, I..." She wanted to say something, but lost her words when she met his eyes.

        "Don't get close to him." Lucas' voice was low, with a hint of pleading and warning, "I know you feel confused, but Draco is not what you think. He will only drag you into the darkness, and I won't let him hurt you."

        Emily just looked at him silently, and a touch of uncertainty gradually rose in her heart. She knew that this was not just a war, but a contest of feelings and desires. In this dangerous triangle relationship, she has gone too far and can never turn back.

Chapter Three

Emily stayed awake all night. The wind outside the window blew through the woods, making a low moan, as if the whole castle was whispering in her ear. She curled up in bed, recalling Draco's cold smile and Lucas's deep eyes. Two completely different attractions stirred in her heart, making her lost on the edge of danger and desire.

        When the sky was slightly bright, she made a decision. She had to figure out what she wanted, the wildness and protection of the wolf tribe, or the mystery and temptation of the vampire. She got up and walked out of the room, walked through the deserted corridor, and came to the door of Lucas's study.

        The door of the study was slightly open, and a whisper came from inside. Emily stood outside the door and pricked up her ears to listen.

        "She is innocent, Lucas." A low and gentle female voice came from Lucas's sister, Leila. Emily had heard rumors about her. Leila was the wisest prophet in the wolf tribe and could always see fragments of the future.

        "I know, Leila." Lucas' voice was hoarse, as if he had struggled all night, "but I can't control myself, I can't suppress my desire for her. I'm afraid that if she stays with me, she will only be swallowed by my darkness."

        Emily's heart trembled, and she raised her hand to push open the door.

        "Lucas." Her voice was abrupt and firm in the silent room.

        The two turned around and saw her standing at the door with a hint of determination in her eyes. She walked slowly towards Lucas, looked up at him, with a hint of determination and inquiry in her eyes.

        "I know you protect me, but I'm not a fragile child." Her voice was calm and firm, "I need to know the truth. Why are you always so hesitant? And why is Draco so persistent in approaching me?"

        Lucas' expression froze for a moment, his eyes wandering on her face, as if he was weighing whether to tell her everything. Finally, he took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind.

        "Emily, the fate of our werewolves is usually determined at birth. The wolf tribe has a unique ability to perceive its partner. When we find that person, we will feel an attraction that cannot be ignored... and you are my destined partner." Lucas spoke in a low voice, with pain and desire flashing in his eyes.

        Emily's heartbeat accelerated, and thousands of emotions surged in her mind, both shocked and confused. She never thought that she would become his destined partner, and his possessiveness and protectiveness of her turned out to come from this ancient bond.

        She asked softly: "What about Draco? Why is he so obsessed with me?"

        Lucas's eyes became more gloomy, and there was a hint of anger in his eyes. "Draco's tribe never believed in fate. They prefer to dominate their own future. And he believes that as long as he possesses you, he can destroy me and the traditional beliefs of the wolf tribe. So, he is not sincere to you, but to weaken my power."

        Emily's heart suddenly tightened, and a hint of anger and loss surged in her eyes. However, she also felt a little unwilling, as if she was just a tool in this struggle, being fought over and torn by the two, and she had no right to control herself.

        "So, Lucas, are you sincere? Is it just fate for me?" There was a hint of disappointment in her voice, and her eyes became cold.

        Lucas was stunned, as if he was hurt by her question. He was silent for a moment before speaking: "Emily, I can't deny the existence of fate, but I can't ignore my feelings for you." He gently held her hand, his eyes full of affection and desire, "Whether it is fate or something else, I am willing to give up everything for you."

        Just then, a slight sound came from outside the window. Emily turned back suddenly and saw a pair of dark red eyes flashing outside the window, like a flame in the dark, and the familiar cold breath startled her heart.

        It was Draco.

        He stood outside the window, sneering at them, as if everything was under his control. He knocked on the window lightly, his voice cold and full of provocation: "I don't think it's possible to talk about 'betraying' everything here, Lucas. You can't protect her because she will eventually come to me."

        Lucas' eyes immediately became cold and dangerous. He stood in front of Emily, glared at Draco outside the window, and growled in a low voice: "Stay away from her, Draco. You can't force her to choose darkness."

        Draco smiled slightly, his eyes full of evil confidence. He raised his eyebrows at Emily, as if everything was under his control. "Dear Emily, you will find that the bright world cannot satisfy your desire. And darkness - is your destination." After he finished speaking, his figure instantly disappeared into the night.

        The room returned to silence, but the air was filled with tension and uneasiness. Emily looked at the empty darkness outside the window, feeling both fear and desire in her heart. She could no longer deny Draco's attraction to her, and the danger and mystery made her heart beat faster.

        Lucas noticed her hesitation, and a trace of pain and uneasiness flashed in his eyes. He gently held her hand and whispered, "Emily, don't get close to him. His darkness will devour you and make you lost in the endless night."

        She didn't respond, but just looked at him silently, her heart full of complicated emotions. She knew that she could no longer simply withdraw from the two of them. Her fate had been drawn into an uncontrollable vortex, and the only thing she could do was to follow her heart and touch the unknown darkness.

Chapter Four

As autumn deepened, the forest surrounding the castle donned a cloak of gold and crimson. Yet Emily felt none of the season's warmth. Since that night's revelation, her mind had been in constant turmoil, with Lucas's truth and Draco's temptation intertwining like two serpents in her thoughts, leaving her breathless.

        That evening, Emily found herself alone in the castle's library, searching through ancient tomes for any mention of werewolves and vampires. As she focused on a yellowed manuscript, the air suddenly turned cold. Looking up, she found Draco standing across from her, his appearance as silent as shadow.

        "Seeking truth, my dear Emily?" Draco leaned elegantly against the bookshelf, wearing a deep purple silk shirt that made his skin appear even paler. "But you know, written accounts are often one-sided."

        Emily instinctively stepped back. "Why do you always appear like this? It's unsettling."

        Draco chuckled softly, moving toward her with fluid grace. "Because I enjoy seeing you startled. It makes you even more enticing." His fingers traced her cheek, the cold touch making her shiver. "Lucas told you I'm merely using you, but did he mention that his fate is actually a chain binding him?"

        Emily froze. "What do you mean?"

        "The werewolves' so-called destined mates are nothing but constraints in their bloodline," Draco's voice carried a hypnotic power. "They're forced to love someone, forced to protect them. Isn't that tragic? While I..." his gaze deepened, "I choose you because I'm truly drawn to you."

        A low growl suddenly echoed from the doorway. Lucas stood there, his eyes now golden, filled with rage. "Step away from her, Draco!" His voice carried an unmistakable threat.

        Instead of retreating, Draco pulled Emily closer. "Why so angry, Lucas? Is it because I spoke the truth, or because you fear she might choose me?"

        The tension in the air grew thick enough to cut. Emily could feel the energy between the two men threatening to tear the room apart. Lucas's body trembled as he fought to control the beast within.

        "Enough!" Emily suddenly shouted, "What am I to both of you? Some trophy to be won?" Her voice carried both anger and hurt.

        Both men froze. Pain flashed across Lucas's eyes, while Draco's expression turned contemplative.

        Emily pushed away from Draco and walked toward the door, but paused beside Lucas. "You say I'm your destiny, but have you considered my feelings?" Her voice was soft but accusatory. "And you, Draco, if you truly cared for me, you wouldn't use me as a weapon against him."

        She hurried from the library, and only when she reached the corridor did her tears finally fall. She didn't know whom to trust - Lucas, chosen by fate, or Draco, who chose her himself? More importantly, she began to question whether she truly understood her own heart.

        As night fell, Emily stood on her balcony. Wolves howled in the distant forest, while somewhere in the castle, she thought she heard the flutter of bat wings. Everything reminded her that she stood at the crossroads between two worlds, and she had to make a choice.

        Then she noticed items on the balcony railing: a rose as black as night with a blood-red sheen - Draco's mark. Beside it lay a wolf fang necklace, a werewolf protection charm, obviously left by Lucas.

        Emily gently touched both items, her internal conflict growing stronger. She knew that choosing either would alter her destiny forever. But more importantly, she needed to understand what her heart truly desired.

        As moonlight bathed the castle grounds, Emily realized that her decision wouldn't just be about choosing between two men - it was about choosing what kind of life she wanted, and more importantly, who she wanted to become.

Chapter Five

The following days in the castle were filled with an unbearable tension. Emily found herself constantly caught between shadows and silence, between warmth and cold. Every corner seemed to hold either Lucas's protective presence or Draco's seductive whispers. The weight of their attention was becoming increasingly suffocating.

        One particularly cold morning, Emily discovered a mysterious leather-bound book in the library's restricted section. Its pages contained ancient prophecies about the eternal conflict between werewolves and vampires. As she read, her hands trembling, she found something that made her blood run cold.

        'When the moon bleeds red and the night grows teeth, a choice will be made that breaks the ancient cycle. A mortal's heart shall tip the balance, bringing either eternal darkness or salvation to both races.'

        "Interesting reading material," Leila's voice suddenly came from behind. Lucas's sister moved like a ghost, her silver eyes holding centuries of wisdom. "I've been waiting for you to find this."

        Emily closed the book carefully. "Is this... about me?"

        Leila's expression remained enigmatic. "The prophecy speaks of a mortal who stands between our worlds. But prophecies, dear Emily, are like rivers - they show the destination, but the path taken is always your choice."

        "What happens if I choose wrong?" Emily's voice wavered.

        "There is no wrong choice, only consequences," Leila replied, her voice gentle but firm. "But I must warn you - the blood moon approaches, and with it, a moment of truth that will change everything."

        Before Emily could ask more questions, a commotion erupted from the castle grounds. They rushed to the window to see Lucas and Draco facing each other in the courtyard, their postures tense with barely contained violence.

        "You've crossed the line, Draco," Lucas's voice carried up to them, filled with fury. "You dare to mark our territory?"

        Draco's laugh was cold and mocking. "Territory? This stopped being about territory the moment she arrived. Or are you afraid she's already choosing me?"

        Emily watched in horror as Lucas's form began to shift, his muscles rippling beneath his clothes. The morning sun caught his golden eyes, now burning with primal rage. Draco's own transformation was more subtle - his pale skin taking on an otherworldly sheen, his movements becoming impossibly fluid.

        "Stop!" Emily's voice rang out across the courtyard. Both men froze, their attention snapping to her window. "This has to end!"

        She turned to rush downstairs, but Leila caught her arm. "Be careful, Emily. The blood moon is three days away. Under its light, both races lose control of their darker natures. And you..." she paused meaningfully, "you will be at your most vulnerable."

        When Emily reached the courtyard, the tension was thick enough to choke on. Lucas immediately moved to her side, his protective instinct evident in every motion. But it was Draco who spoke first.

        "My apologies for the disturbance, dear Emily," his voice was silk over steel. "But perhaps it's time you understood the full scope of what you're involved in." He pulled an ancient medallion from his coat. "This belongs to your grandmother. She wasn't just any woman - she was a guardian, keeper of the balance between our races."

        Emily's world tilted. "My grandmother? But she died when I was young..."

        "She was murdered," Lucas cut in, his voice heavy with old pain. "By those who wanted to destroy the peace between our kinds. And now, as her descendant, you inherit her role - and her enemies."

        The revelation hit Emily like a physical blow. Suddenly, everything made more sense - the mysterious circumstances that led her to the castle, both men's intense interest in her, the prophecy. She wasn't just caught between two supernatural beings; she was part of an ancient legacy.

        "The blood moon comes," Draco said softly, his eyes locked on Emily. "And with it, powers long dormant will awaken. You'll need to choose not just between us, Emily, but between two paths for both our races."

        As if in response to his words, clouds gathered overhead, casting strange shadows across the courtyard. Emily felt something stir within her, something old and powerful, like a sleeping giant finally beginning to wake.

        Lucas moved closer, his warmth a stark contrast to the chill air. "Whatever you choose, Emily, know that my protection isn't just about fate or duty anymore. It's about-"

        But before he could finish, a piercing scream cut through the air. All three turned to see Leila collapsed at the castle entrance, her silver eyes wide with terror as she pointed at the sky.

        "It's coming," she gasped. "The blood moon... it's coming early. And with it, they're returning - the ones who killed your grandmother. They're coming for Emily."

        In that moment, as Emily looked between Lucas and Draco, she realized that her choice might not be about love at all - it might be about survival.

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Kapitola 1 - Můj život je zmatek
==========
"Dop prde'le, ddoc pzrdHelMe, dko_ CpBrdmele.c"É
Náraz auta za mnou do mého nárazníku byl krátký, ale intenzivní. I poté, co otřesy ustaly, jsem stále cítila, jak mi tělem procházejí vibrace. Každý sval byl napjatý a můj mozek byl v přetížení.
Dopravní nehoda. Měl jsem autonehodu.
Do krku se mi vkradla žluč. Ruce mi pomalu sklouzly po volantu a zanechaly na potahu z umělé kůže studený pot z dlaní. Zavřela jsem oči a ztěžka polkla a přemýšlela, jestli existuje nějaký způsob, jak to zvládnout bez velkého záchvatu paniky.
NÉe,pravCd^ě_poUdobnéi.P
Už tak mi dělalo potíže, když se něco mírně vymykalo mým běžným zvyklostem. Proto se mnou strýc v minulosti procházel možné krizové situace a autonehoda byla jednou z nich. Potřebovala jsem si jen připomenout, co mám dělat.
Ujistit se, že jsou všichni v pořádku, a pokud se někomu něco stane, zavolat záchranku.
Byla jsem zraněná? Byla zraněna osoba za mnou?
KxdXyKžz jsem& RsiP Sv( KdLuNchCuH všídm&a&lIa, VsvYéhDow HtělmaS, AurvMěxdoBmiSlav jsXeJm bsi, aže jsem nfPyzicAkyH xvd pořádckIu N-n otařesSean(ár,L zalue sv 'p$ořáódku_.&CnYbspO;Os roso(běR neBbo goKsfobzáÉckhR z^a' nmno.u jOsMenmW nevědměqlK.C&'nqbgsp;_MuQsQe!lé Jb,ych v_y!sqtpo'upRiNtg z autaé, abQywché AtSoF Dzwjistihl,.&nzbscp;PrcoblégmY !bLylL nv tom, IžYe* jqsne^m OseD ^nemohHl powhnojutK.i
Fungovalo auto ještě? Motor pod kapotou hučel, takže jsem usoudil, že auto je nejspíš stále pojízdné, což mi tuto otázku zodpovědělo. Náraz nebyl tak silný. Protože jsem nevypadal, že bych byl zraněný, osoba nebo osoby za mnou by také mohly být v pořádku. Možná, že auto nebylo nijak poškozené. Možná bych to přece jen přežil.
Stiskla jsem oči, natáhla se přes klín a rozepnula si bezpečnostní pás. Obtočila jsem prsty kolem kliky dveří a soustředila se na to, abych je napnula natolik, že uvolním západku. Zatlačila jsem do dveří. Tělo jsem měla stále napjaté, jak jsem se pomalu tlačila ven z auta.
Ujistěte se, že jsou všichni v pořádku. Zkontrolujte, jestli nejsou poškozeni. Tohle zvládneš.
"aKsá.mco,t cLo& (to kunryva jne?"
Překvapeně jsem se podíval na blonďáka s krysím mulletem staženým do culíku. Rty měl zkřivené do chrapláku.
"Žlutá neznamená stop, ty idiote!" Zkřížil ruce a vypnul hruď.
Mužovo zjevné rozčilení nad situací mě mělo poslat do schouleného klubíčka, ale absurdita jeho tvrzení upoutala mou pozornost. Na okamžik jsem zapomněla na jeho bojovné chování a vzpomněla si na slova v příručce k řízení, kterou jsem dostala ke studiu na zkoušku.
"&RozsKvícGe^ní nž.lVudtMénh!oz NnDeWb.o ko$raanLžoWvé)hdo svtěét^la znfam)ená,D ž$e^ Qpokud jue toh _bwezpÉesčNné,Y pZřipUrCavZted seA rnaC _zaCsOtavejní p^ředm křiLž_ojvat(k.out."b&nbSsgpé;MBDrlada& Sseu mki tř_ápsZlaf Nal oRč'iN jsem uNpíRra(lKax na lzkemV, zaztUímVcéoX mjNsjeMm TprQoiniá$šePlgal zapaWmatovanjá Astlovja, jWatkvog nbycOhS Cbyla) Jn$a NaPuPttopilotGaA.&nbJsp);"Měl jxsejmW Hč)aPsC zasftavQit'.N&Xnpbnsp,;N,emůxžxu ski dÉoPvCo'litt dYostaWt mpoVk&utuK.z"
"Obvinění?" Blonďák vyhodil ruce do vzduchu a naklonil se ke mně. "Myslíš pokutu? Za to, že jedeš, nedostaneš žádnou zasranou pokutu."
Jeho slova nedávala vůbec žádný smysl. V zákoně nebylo nic, co by říkalo, že za takový přestupek nemůže dostat pokutu. Mohl. Důkladně jsem se učil na písemnou část řidičského testu. Kdyby na semaforu svítila červená, jistě by si myslel, že jízda na ni je důvodem k pokutě. Dál jsem zírala na zem poblíž jeho nohou a snažila se přimět sama sebe k očnímu kontaktu, ale podařilo se mi jen rychle zamrkat.
Chlapík poklepal nohou, když jsem se podíval na zadní nárazník svého auta. Poškození nebylo tak hrozné, ale na jedné straně byl promáčknutý a teď byl úplně asymetrický. V hrudi jsem cítila, jak se ve mně znovu vzmáhá panika. Snažila jsem se ji spolknout.
PoMtřJeSbYoLvRaAla tjnseOm psMeU usdrdžeÉtV TpohKrpomadéě.Q&&n_bsóp*;Taenb gmužP nTe'bTyl YzraxněunxýQ. aV jQexhoN aQuDtěz qniikwdao^ Bjin&ýO n$ebyl Cas sško&dy YbylayA 'miBnZiamállnHíP.
Zvládnu to.
"Ještě že jste mi nepromáčkl auto," řekl muž, který stál hned vedle mě. Cítila jsem jeho pohled na své mravenčení. Podle jeho postavy a chování jsem měla dojem, že je zvyklý být vyšší než většina chlapů, ale setkali jsme se téměř z očí do očí. Měl však na mě nejméně čtyřicet kilo, takže efekt byl podobný.
"Promiň..." začala jsem říkat, ale on mě přerušil.
"'ŘKekl kbByRch, Cže Ujsóip!"(&nébspQ;BJehoX smíjcóhd byl pl(nýq hrÉo&zrbyn.
"Promiň," zopakoval jsem, "ale ty..."
Odmlčel jsem se. Jeho chování a přísný pohled mě vyvedly z míry. Kdybych si vzpomněla, jak jsem si scénáře, jako byl tenhle, nacvičovala, byla bych v pohodě, ale nedokázala jsem se soustředit natolik, abych si všechno zapamatovala.
Pojištění. Musím se ho zeptat na informace o pojištění.
ZhluboZkéaa ljWseYm rsfe nDadéexchla a spokrayčoDvyalQa.W
"Kdybyste mi mohl říct název vaší pojišťovny..."
Udělal půl kroku dopředu a dloubl mi prstem do hrudi - dvakrát.
"Kurva. Ty."
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Udělal jsem rozmáchlé gesto směrem k nárazníku a při tom pohledu jsem se zhrozil. Chtěl jsem říct něco o tom, že do mě zezadu narazil a že je to jeho vina, ale nedokázal jsem ze sebe dostat slova. Nemohla jsem přestat zírat na šikmou promáčklinu v nárazníku. Takhle bych s ním jezdit nemohl, ne když jsem věděl, že nárazník je tady vzadu a vypadá tak, jak vypadal. Nedokázal bych se soustředit.
Zvýšila by se mi sazba pojištění?
Do hrudi mě udeřila nová vlna paniky.
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"Zavolejte policii," zašeptala jsem. Vlastně jsem to nechtěla říct nahlas, ale věděla jsem, že to je další postup, pokud dojde ke sporu. V přihrádce u spolujezdce jsem měla předplacený telefon pro případ nouze.

"Kašlu na to. Nikomu volat nebudeš."
Při jeho gramatice mi naskočila husí kůže. Potřebovala jsem se vrátit do auta a použít nouzový telefon, ale nohy se mi nechtěly hnout.
"Zavolej policii," řekla jsem znovu. Můj hlas byl monotónní a jen matně jsem si uvědomovala, co říkám. Stále jsem se nemohl pohnout a snažil jsem se najít na zemi něco, co by odvedlo mou pozornost od situace. "Nahlaste tu nehodu. Získejte informace o pojištění."
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"Zmlkni!" Chlap mě ještě jednou šťouchl do hrudi. "Vzhledem k tomu, jakou sračku řídíš, bych to považoval za zabití z milosti. Tady" - strčil mi do hrudi malý papírek a já sledoval, jak se třepotá na zemi - "považuj nás za vyrovnané."
Znovu se zasmál, otočil se, nasedl zpátky do auta a odjel.
Sklonil jsem se a zvedl ten kousek papíru - nesnesl jsem, aby se na ulici povalovaly odpadky - a uviděl jsem, že je to jeden z těch losů do loterie Powerball. Pomalu jsem zavrtěla hlavou, jak jsem na ten papír zírala, aniž bych si ho pořádně prohlédla. Vždycky jsem si myslel, že loterie je daň pro lidi se špatnými matematickými schopnostmi, a tohle dokonale odpovídalo stereotypu toho chlápka.
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Jako byl můj táta.
Zavřela jsem oči, znovu se několikrát dlouze nadechla a usedla zpátky na místo řidiče. Snažila jsem se vymazat z mysli obraz nárazníku, ale samozřejmě to nešlo. Musela jsem dvakrát zastavit, abych se dostala zpátky do stavu, kdy jsem mohla řídit, než jsem dokončila tříkilometrovou cestu domů.
Domů.
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Vešla jsem dovnitř, hodila tašku s knihami na malou lavičku v hale a pak si vzala sklenici vody. Většinou jsem jedla věci z mrazáku, které jsem si mohla ohřát v mikrovlnce. Už tři dny jsem nevařila žádné čerstvé jídlo a snažila jsem se přinutit, abych si alespoň párkrát týdně připravila nějaké opravdové jídlo.
Všechny recepty v matčině staré krabici s recepty byly určeny pro čtyři osoby. Všechny, přísahám.
Položila jsem sklenici do neposkvrněného kuchyňského dřezu.
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Všechno v pracovně bylo v podstatě tak, jak to tam táta nechal - všude byly papíry, poznámky a knihy. Nesnášela jsem nepořádek, nikdy jsem ho nesnášela, ale nedokázala jsem se ani přinutit k tomu, abych to uklidila. Máma byla spíš jako já, ta by sem ani nevešla.
Byla.
Byla.
V mGixnUulVéJm FčYaKse$.
Přešla.
Odešla.
Zemřela.
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Vrátila jsem se do kuchyně s tím, že možná přece jen něco uvařím. Šátrala jsem ve skříni plné převážně balených potravin a nakonec jsem narazila na krabici tenkých mátových bonbonů, které máma koupila od skautky, která bydlela v ulici.
Ztratila jsem ji.
Táta vždycky říkal, že život je plný vzestupů a pádů.
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Dnešek byl dnem prohry.
~oOo~
Druhý den jsem prošel velkými dvojitými dveřmi střední školy Talawanda v Oxfordu ve státě Ohio.
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Většina dětí z mé třídy měla alespoň jednoho rodiče, který pracoval pro Miami University. Moje matka učila matematiku na pedagogické škole. Vyrůstat tady bylo v pohodě. Nejvíc jsem si užíval léta, kdy všichni studenti přenechávali Oxford měšťákům, a když jsem potřeboval parkovací místo, mohl jsem ho najít v Uptownu.
Zamířila jsem do své první třídy - do AP Ekologie. Cestu do školy jsem zvládla tak, že jsem si pořád dokola opakovala: Hned po skončení školy mám schůzku s autoservisem a Travis mi zařídí půjčení auta, než mi opraví nárazník.
Půjčovnu.
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Otevřela jsem skříňku a pečlivě uložila složky z tašky s učebnicemi na svá místa na malé kovové poličce. Příslušná učebnice byla umístěna vedle složek v pořadí podle mého rozvrhu hodin, můj skromný oběd položen na horní polici a prázdný batoh na háku. Pak jsem vytáhla učebnici ekologie a zelenou složku, abych si ji vzala do třídy.
Zkontrolovala jsem si hodinky a rychle zamířila do třídy. Měla bych tam dorazit asi s desetivteřinovou rezervou. Nesnesla bych, kdybych přišla pozdě, ale zároveň jsem tam nechtěla být dřív. Vešla jsem do laboratoře pana Jonese a zahnula uličkou ke své lavici.

Na mém místě už někdo seděl.
Byl to opravdu velký, ramenatý chlapík s tmavou pletí. Předtím jsem ho neviděla, ale mohl to být jeden z těch, kteří přestoupili z Rileyho školy. Nezajímalo mě však, odkud přišel. Problém byl v tom, že seděl na mém místě.
Možná jsem měla být o pár vteřin dřív.
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Sto dvanáct.
"Matthewe, posaď se, prosím," řekl pan Jones z přední části místnosti. "Je čas začít a než se rozdělíte do skupin, musím probrat spoustu látky."
Někdo na své místo a práce ve skupinách. Dvojitá rána.
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"Pane Jonesi," řekla jsem, "na mém místě někdo sedí."
"Tady nejsou žádná přidělená místa, Matthewe," řekl pan Jones.
Zadíval jsem se na papíry na jeho stole. Všichni moji učitelé měli znát zákoutí mého vzdělávacího plánu, včetně některých mých spouštěčů, jako je nečekaná změna. Většina z nich se skvěle držela plánu, ale pan Jones zřejmě nechápal, jak moc mě to může ovlivnit.
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"Devin sem právě přestoupil," řekl pan Jones. "Za Mayrou je volné místo."
Mayra.
Mayra Trevinová.
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Mohlo to být horší. Obvykle na mě byla docela milá. Justin, král amerického fotbalu, byl úplně jiný příběh. Dával mi zabrat už od školky. Byl to klasický tyran, až po panovačného, přehnaně výkonného otce, který byl zároveň fotbalovým trenérem.
Na chvíli jsem zavřel oči a snažil se zorientovat. Celé tělo jsem měla napjaté - připravené na boj nebo útěk. Nebylo však proti čemu bojovat a útěk by znamenal, že nebudu maturovat. Kdybych chtěla jít touhle cestou, mohla jsem si už udělat maturitu. To jsem nechtěla. Chtěla jsem diplom. Chtěla jsem se dostat na dobrou školu, abych zvládla slušnou kariéru a mohla platit sestřiny účty za léčení.
Můžeš to udělat.
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Na druhou stranu.
Daleko od dveří.
Do prdele, do prdele, do prdele.
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"Hej, Matthew!"
Zkřížil jsem ruce na stole a zadíval se na malé chloupky na zápěstí. Znovu jsem se dlouze nadechl, zavřel oči a snažil se představit si, že sedím na svém obvyklém místě a že se Mayra právě rozhodla sedět přede mnou. Moc to nepomáhalo, protože kdyby tam byla ona, kde by seděl Joe? Trochu jsem se zachvěla.
"Ahoj," podařilo se mi říct tiše. Naštěstí v tu chvíli začal pan Jones svou přednášku. To, co chtěl říct, mi ale vůbec nepomohlo - skupinová práce.
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"Všichni se rozdělíte do dvojic, vyberete si potenciální riziko pro naši biosféru Země, prozkoumáte příčiny a možné důsledky tohoto rizika a pak své závěry představíte třídě."
Dvojice. Trochu jsem se uvolnil. S Joem jsme se znali od doby, kdy nás oba ve třetí třídě vytáhli z běžných tříd pro naše "nadprůměrné kognitivní schopnosti". Byl mi nejbližší jako kamarád a na podobných projektech jsme vždycky pracovali společně. Když se pan Jones zmínil o skupinové práci, myslel jsem, že má na mysli větší skupinu. V těch se mi moc nedařilo. Snažil jsem se soustředit na dobré zprávy na rozdíl od potenciálního veřejného projevu, který se prostě nekonal. Joe by to udělal za nás.
"Justine a Iane, spojte se. Joe a Devin, Aimee a Scott, Mayra a Matthew..."
"YCLožec?"i PqřeDrluVš_il QjtseHmv XhLo.
"Ty a Mayra budete pracovat na svém projektu společně," potvrdil pan Jones. Usmál se a mě napadlo, jestli si ráno vyčistil zuby.
"Pracuji s Joem," připomněla jsem mu. Určitě na to jen zapomněl.
"Joe bude pracovat s naší novou studentkou," řekl pan Jones. "Ty budeš pracovat s Mayrou."
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Ani jsem se neohlédla. S potem, který mi stékal z vlasů na krk, jsem zamířila rovnou ke vchodovým dveřím a snažila se vymyslet, kam bych se mohla schovat.
Nemohla jsem sedět v autě - ne s nárazníkem takovým, jaký byl - a v žádném případě jsem se nehodlala schovávat ani na záchodě, ani v šatně. Jedna z webových stránek, které jsem provozovala, byla pro veřejnou zdravotní službu a já si přečetla statistiky. Bez ochranného obleku bych nešel ani na veřejné záchodky.
Nakonec jsem jen běhal kolečka kolem fotbalového hřiště.
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"Je mi líto, Matthewe," řekla mi sekretářka, "ale v pololetí už je příliš pozdě na to, abych si ho vyměnila." "To je mi líto," řekl jsem.